Successful Marriages

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temple-wedding For the world, Marriage is a legal contract between spouses that establishes rights and obligations between them.

In the “Plan of God” marriage between a man and a woman is essential to our eternal destiny. Heavenly Father wants to give all He has to His children, but only by keeping all the covenants and achieving the Temple ordinances marriage and families can be exalted.

“And in order to obtain the highest, (exaltation), a man must enter into this order of the priesthood (meaning the new and everlasting covenant of marriage) D&C 131:2

Elder Bruce C. Hafen taught, “The parties to a contractual marriage seek happiness by walking away. They marry to obtain benefits and will stay only as long as they´re receiving what they bargained for. But when troubles come to a covenant marriage, the husband and wife work hafen_bruce them through. They marry to give and to grow, bounds by covenants to each other, to the community, and to God. Contract companions each give 50 percent; covenant companions each give 100 percent…Covenant marriage requires a total leap of faith: they must keep their covenants without knowing what risks that may require of them. They must surrender unconditionally, obeying God and sacrificing for each other.” (Ensign, Nov 1996, 26)

Three wolves every marriage will face repeatedly

The Natural Adversity like illness, death, natural disasters, job loss, etc.
The own imperfections. In marriage is normal to have some conflicts because we are two persons different in backgrounds, culture, wants and needs, and weakness, but when we can learn how to involve our Heavenly Father to solve our conflicts, and apply the principles of faith, respect repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, and work we can strengthen our marriage relationship, we may become one with our spouse and have happiness in our families.
Excessive individualism. Pride and selfishness are the principal characteristics of excessive individualism.

My Experience: I remember when I got just married; I wanted to re-design my husband, change some of his behavior I did not fully like him. I remember to ask God His help for the change in my husband. What I learned in that time through prayer, is that I was very selfish, thinking only in my desires, but who needed to change was me. I needed to be humble, to change my prayers and to ask God for His help so I could change the way I was seeing my husband. When I started to see him as a sacred man, a son of God; honoring his Holy Priesthood, with more virtues than weaknesses, and with the potential to become as God is, all things changed. I started to trait him with more love and respect, and then those “imperfections” I didn´t like of him ceased to be important. We learned to pray together, not to complain about each other, but for our covenant marriage. Along, with time and effort, we are improving our eternal relationship. We love each other more deeply, with more understanding of our covenant marriage. I am sure I am a very, very imperfect woman, but I am grateful for my husband who always has loved me so much and has helped me to understand the doctrine of family and be one in our marriage.

It is easy to run when one of the wolves attacks the marriage. The false door is divorce. In contrast, covenant marriage focus in Jesus Christ and strive to love each other in every circumstance.

david-a-bednar-large Elder David A. Bednar (2006) said,

“The Lord Jesus Christ is the focal point in a covenant marriage relationship. Please notice how the Savior is positioned at the apex of this triangle, with a woman at the base of one corner and a man at the base of the other corner. Now consider what happens in the relationship between the man and the woman as they individually and steadily “come unto Christ” and strive to be “perfect in Him” (Moroni 10:32). Because of and through the Redeemer, the man and the woman come closer together. “ (Ensign, June 2006)

The Covenant Marriage Relationship

Elder David A. Bednar

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Spiritual resources to strength your marriage

Learn and understand the doctrine of the Plan of Salvation.
Receive the Atonement of Jesus Christ to resist all the attacks from the adversary.
Pray together.
Learn to serve and cherish one another.
Become one in your marriage.
Give your 100 percent to your spouse.
Pass time together.
Assist to the Temple frequently.
Keep your covenants.

Why marriage matters

The Family: A Proclamation to the World declares that “Marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator´s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.”

“The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity.”

Marriage matters because we are children of God whose come to earth to “progress toward perfection” to return to live with God and our families for the eternity. Only through family it is possible we could realize our divine destiny.

Researches have explained that “Marriage is a complex social institution. Marriage helps to unite the needs and desires of couples and the children their unions produce. Because marriage fosters small cooperative unions-otherwise known as stable families- it not only enables children to thrive, but also shores up communities, helping family members to succeed during good times and to weather the bad times.” (State of Our Unions-2012).

What are the effects of legalize same-sex marriage?

The Supreme Court of Justice of America legalized same-sex marriage in 2015 arguing that same-sex couples have the same right to marry as opposite-sex couples according to the fundamental liberties protected by the Fourtheenth Amendment´s Due Process Clause extend to certain personal choices central to individual dignity and autonomy, including intimate choices defining personal identity and beliefs.

According to Roberts, C. J who dissented legalized same-sex marriage said, “Marriage arose in the nature of things to meet a vital need: ensuring that children are conceived by a mother and father committed to raising them in the stable conditions of a lifelong relationships.” A man can´t supply the role of a mother, and woman can´t supply the role of a father.

Some statistics

44 percent of the children of moderately educated mothers born outside of marriage.
54 percent of the children of least-educated occur outside marriage.
43 percent of female adolescents from moderately educated homes live in a non-intact family. In contrast of 49 percent of female adolescents from least educated homes, and just 21 percent live in intact families. (The President´s Marriage Agenda.The State of Our Unions Marriage in America 2012 by National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia and the Center for Marriage and Families at the Institute for American Values. P. 2-4)

Kron and Bogan (2001) explained,

“Fatherless children are twice as likely to drop out of school as their classmates who live with two parents.
Children whose fathers are absent consistently score lower than the norm in reading and math tests.
75% of teen suicides occur in single-parent families.  Children who live apart from their fathers experience more accidents and a higher rate of chronic asthma, headaches, and speech defects.
80% of the adolescents in psychiatric hospitals come from a fatherless home.”
In a comparison of girls raised in homes with both parents, “the daughters of single parents are 164% more likely to become pregnant before marriage, 53% more likely to marry as teenagers, and 92% more likely to divorce of their husbands.
The absence of a biological father increases a daughter’s vulnerability to rape and sexual abuse by 900%,” many of them committed by stepfathers or mother´s boyfriends. Girl teenagers have the highest rate of AIDS (Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome) infections.”

The statistics are alarming. More and more children are growing up in unstable families. The negative effects of absent parents show the health, emotional, psychological and social consequences on children and society. Those children are increasingly likely to repeat their parents´ patterns.

What are we defending for?

We are defending the institution of man-woman marriage. We are defending the well-being of children. Same-sex marriage can not procreate together, so they are separating who love them and guide them to their eternal destiny as children of God. We are defending our religious liberty. We are defending our right to educate our children with our values and beliefs. We want to protect the most sacred of the institutions: The Family.

The Words of Prophets

The President Russell M. Nelson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said, “The greatest guardians of any and all virtues are marriage and family. This is particularly the case with the virtues of chastity and fidelity in marriage, both of which are required to create enduring and fully rewarding marriage partnerships and family relationships.

Male and female are created for what they can do and become, together. It takes a man and a woman to bring a child into the world. Mothers and fathers are not interchangeable. Men and women are distinct and complementary. Children deserve a chance to grow up with both a mom and a dad.” (“Disciples of Jesus Christ-Defenders of Marriage” BYU Speaches, Aug 14, 2014).

President Gordon B. Hinckley said, “Of all the joys of life, none other equals that of happy parenthood.” I believe parents are the most important influence in the life of children. Parents are an anchor and a hero for their kids. Nobody can take the place of a father (and a mother) in the sacred responsibility God has given to teach, guide and lead his children to return save with their Heavenly Father, and He will bless fathers for taking care of His children. “And all thy children shall be taught of the Lord; and great shall be the peace of thy children.” (3 Nephi 22:13)

Elder Dallin H. Oaks said: “Even as we seek to be meek and to avoid contention, we must not compromise or dilute our commitment to the truths we understand. We must not surrender our positions or our values.”

The Prophets warn the world saying, “ We warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.” (The Family: A Proclamation to the World; 1995)

My Testimony

I know that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained by God. I testify that we are children of a Heavenly Father and a Heavenly Mother too. Their Plan is for us to become such as They are. It is the reason that Family is central for our eternal destiny. Father and mothers are equal partners with different roles. Nobody else can take your place as mother or father.