Bernard Poduska said, “We do not enter marriage empty handed; we carry a lot of “baggage” with us…we bring our levels of self-esteem, our willingness to adapt to change, our attitudes toward life, and our expectations and values”  (Till Death Do Us Part, chapter 2)

When I chose to marry my husband, I thought that our life would be very easy and happy, because we were two returned missionaries. Soon I learned that marriage was wonderful, but the time of adaptation to a new family was not an easy task. My husband had different implicit and intuitive rules than me. We worked a lot to accept us as we were and to define new rules for our new family. Marriage councils were a tool to talk about our goals and our rules.

On the other hand, I didn’t think about the impact that would have our families of origin in our marriage, sometimes mothers-in-law wanted to advice us how to educate our children, or like my mom who called me at least 5 times a day. There were hard moments with our mothers-in-law, but I remembered the words of Elder Octaviano Tenorio who said, “If the Holy Ghost has confirmed that your boyfriend is the one, when you will get married and the problems will come, you will know that the solution is not divorce, but repentance. The Holy Ghost is a God and He is never wrong.” I am very grateful for those words that helped me to improve my relationship with my husband and my mother in-law. She was a wonderful woman. My husband has been very patient with my family. He has accepted me as I am, but has enhanced my life too. We have formed a strong family with our own rules and an eternal perspective.

I am committed to be a good mother-in-law for my future son and daughter-in-law. I commit to help them in their marriage and not be intrusive or trying to advice them how to live their lives, but just loving them.

Pregnancy is a great blessing for the spouses. Every week it is an amazing experience while the baby grows. However with pregnancy there are some changes that couples experience in their relationship. For some couples pregnancy helps them to strengthen their bonds, but in other, if the husband and, or wife focus only on the baby, one of the spouse could feel abandoned.

In another hand, when the baby is born, if the couple’s relationship is not so strong, the husband will pass to a second place. It is a cause for many and eternal problems in marriage.

What can you do to keep your marriage strong during pregnancy and while raising children?

10 Tips to Pregnant Marriages

1. While you are pregnant share with your spouse the dates with the doctor. If it is possible, your husband could stay with you when the baby is born, it will be a wonderful experience for both.
2. Nurture your fondness and admiration for your husband. He needs to listen you are still in love with him.
3. Turn towards your spouse. There are more things to talk than the baby or children, and listen to him with attention.
4. Strengthen your sexual intimacy with your husband. Sex doesn’t hurt the baby. Even when you are going to be very tired taking care of the children, please take the time to show your love to your husband. He must be your priority.
5. Have a date night every week. It will help you to enhance your marital relationship.
6. When it is the time to educate and discipline your children, be one with your husband. Don’t argue in front of them.
7. Never go to bed if you are angry with your husband. Learn how to have marriage councils.
8. Pray with and for your husband. Study the scriptures together and make that family home evening could be a tradition in your family.
9. Go to the temple frequently. Remember the ordinances will help you to strength your marriage.
10. Over everything, I plead you put God and your husband in the first place.

“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave uno his wife; and they shall be one flesh” (Genesis 2:24) It is maybe one of the most misunderstanding commandment given to the man. I would have liked to learn more about this subject when I was a newlywed because I was very cleaved to my mother. I wanted that my husband could be like my brothers; of course those were hard moments. It is difficult to stay between your mother and you husband. I think that the great problem is not in our parents or brothers and sisters, but in us as wife who does not understand the doctrine of marriage and the commandment to cleave to our husband and none one else.

President Spencer W. Kimball taught, “Frequently, people continue to cleave unto their mothers and their fathers, and their chums. Sometimes, mothers will not relinquish the hold they have had upon their children, and husbands as well as wives return to their mothers and fathers to obtain advice and counsel and to confide, whereas cleaving should be to the wife in most things, and all intimacies should be kept in great secrecy and privacy from others… Your married life should become independent of her folks and his folks. You love them more than ever, you cherish their counsel, you appreciate their association, but you live your own lives, being governed by your decisions, by your own prayerful considerations after you have received the counsel from those who should give it (Spencer W. Kimball, March 1977 Ensign, pp. 4, 5).

Well-meaning relatives have broken up many a home. Numerous divorces are attributable to the interference of parents who thought they were only protecting their loved children… Live your own life (President Spencer W. Kimball, Marriage, p. 17).

I was very sorry with my husband because in the beginning of our marriage sometimes the influence of my mother and brothers were more important than my husband. Fortunately, he was very patience with me. I could change and turned toward my husband. The understanding of the doctrine of marriage, and the atonement of Jesus Christ  were the keys to become one in my marriage. I love my husband and enjoy to spent time with him more than with any other person in this life, even my relatives.

I promise to teach this doctrine to my children, so they can understand the commandment, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave uno his wife; and they shall be one flesh.” I hope to be a good example for them about how to become one in marriage.