Have you thought about the way pride affects your marriage?

President Ezra Taft Benson explained clearly what pride is. He said, “The central feature of pride is enmity –enmity toward God and enmity toward our fellowmen. Enmity means “hatred toward, hostility to, or a state of opposition…The proud make every man their adversary pitting their intellects, opinions, works, wealth, talents, or any other worldly measuring device against others.” (Beware of Pride, April, 1988). Can we recognize in us the enmity toward God or our spouse?

The proud offended easily, and is tempted to elevate above others and diminish them. He or she doesn’t accept the influence of others, doesn’t share power, and doesn’t listen to opinions. Some faces of pride are selfishness, contention, and disobedience to authority. Pride is what destroys marriages and families.

The four horsemen of Apocalypse (criticism, defensiveness, contempt and stonewalling) are constantly used by the proud. H. Wallace Goddard, PhD said, “Every serious relationship will get to the point of desperation. At some point we know our partner well enough to be irritated and to know that the sources of our irritation are not likely to disappear…” (p. 75) Are we constantly irritated with our spouse? What can we do with our marriage? We can choose to divorce, we can choose to “smolder in sullen resentment,” or we can repent. The key has been given by President Benson, “The antidote for pride is humility –meekness, submissiveness.” We can change our “natural and proud spouse” to a “saint spouse” through the atonement of Jesus Christ. We can put our pride on the altar of sacrifice and change our hearts to love our spouse as God loves him/her.

 

Some years ago, when I was a newlywed, I read “Beware of Pride” by President Benson. While I was reading I recognized some of the pride’s characteristics in my husband, until I arrived to the phrase “Pride is a sin that can readily be seen in others but is rarely admitted in ourselves.” It was like an “ice bucket” on me. I needed to change my heart, repent from pride’s sin and not correct my husband, but accept and love him, listening to his counsel, and giving him more love! Of course, I have failed many times, but we are trying to build a happy marriage. That is the reason I have to read over and over this article to repent over and over.

I hope we could make some changes in ourselves to respect and honor our spouse to become eternal families.