In this changing world where marriage seems to be a “disposable thing” for selfish causes, it is urgent to learn and teach our families about the doctrine of marriage and to provide an eternal perspective. The first principle of the gospel is faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. The Prophet Joseph Smith taught that faith is a principle of power and action, so it is precisely faith that gives us the eternal perspective, and it opens our vision to eternity and gives us hope to work for an eternal marriage.
Why is it important to put God first?
President Ezra Taft Benson taught, “When we put God first, all other things fall into 
their proper place or drop out of our lives. Our love of the Lord will govern the claims for our affection, the demands on our time, the interests we pursue, and the order of our priorities. We should put God ahead of everyone else in our lives. (The Great Commandment – Love the Lord,” Ensign, May 1988).
When we put God in the first place and increase our faith in Jesus Christ it is easy to try to be like Him, so we may see our spouse with another eyes, with mercy and love. We may know that our marriage is our school to learn how to become as our Heavenly Parents are, so we strive to become a perfect spouse. Then we are not trying to change our husband or wife, we strive to turn toward our marriage, attending the physical, emotional, and spiritual needs of our partner.
How to turn toward your spouse?
John M. Gottman said that turning toward each other is a virtue that “operates under a law of positive feedback– like a snowball rolling downhill, it can start small yet generate enormous results…Just get started, and things will improve by themselves.”
One way to turn toward our husband or wife is honoring our covenants, don´t give up, don´t turn away when things are not the way you thought; instead, turn toward God for His help, exercise the faith and work to turn toward your spouse. The Holy Ghost will help you to turn toward your partner and by the next exercises you can improve your relationship.
- The Emotional Bank Account. Thank and recognize him/her for turning toward you. “The goal is to make small improvements by noticing how your partner has been turning toward and giving.”
- “The Stress-Reducing Conversations. “Reunite with your spouse at the end of the day and talk about how it went.” Active listening is crucial to the conversation, so apply the next rules when you converse with your husband or wife.
- Take turns.
- Show genuine interest.
- Don´t give unsolicited advice
- Communicate your understanding.
- Take your partner´s side.
- Express a “we against others” attitude.
- Show affection.
- Validate emotions.
It is amazing how much we can enhance our relationship exercising the faith in Jesus Christ and turning toward our spouse. I am grateful for two wonderful books, “Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage”, by H. Wallace Goddard, PhD, and “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” by John, M. Gotten, PhD. because they have helped me to see more and more virtues in my husband. I thought that my love for my husband could not increase more because I love him with all my heart, but after three weeks of reading and applying the teachings of these books I feel more admiration for my husband. I am turning toward him more deeply and I feel more connected to him, I love him much more every day. We have an eternal perspective for our family because God is in the first place in our life.
what will you do to turn toward your spouse?
Successful Marriages 